There goes Memorial Day. Here comes June. A short four‑day week where we all pretend summer will deliver relaxation, vacations, family time, outdoor joy, happiness, and… whatever else we’re supposed to feel. Doesn’t matter if any of that applies — summer is coming anyway, like a seasonal audit.

But before June strolls in wearing flip‑flops, the world has decided to cram in a few more “updates” designed to ruin your beach mood.

War (Still. Yes, Still.)

The U.S.–Iran–“and friends” war keeps rolling along, and at this point it’s starting to feel like a long-running series that refuses to end. The U.S. has “won” at least four times now, Iran has been “decimated” repeatedly, and yet the missiles keep arriving like they’re on a subscription plan.

Negotiations are “underway,” which in diplomatic language means: everyone is still shooting, everyone is still lying, and everyone still wants something.

And remember Ukraine and Russia? They’re still at it too. Just because they’re not trending doesn’t mean the war took a personal day.

Crypto Tolls? Sure, Why Not.

As if the Strait of Hormuz wasn’t chaotic enough, Iran apparently decided to start charging tolls — in bitcoin — for ships trying to squeeze through the “open/closed/partially closed/open-but-not-really” waterway.

Naturally, this caught the attention of U.S. intelligence, who discovered Iran has been using crypto to dodge sanctions for years. The anti‑crypto crowd immediately printed new talking points and started sharpening their regulatory knives.

But wait — it gets even better.

Iran reportedly used Binance (yes, that Binance — the one that paid a $4.3B fine) to move money around. And the timing lines up suspiciously well with when Iran started using crypto for “purposes.”

CZ, Binance’s ex‑CEO, paid his $50M fine, did his penance, and was recently pardoned by President Trump. Meanwhile, Trump’s own crypto firm uses Binance for various things. All of this because of a war, a chokepoint, and a toll booth that accepts bitcoin but not Visa.

IPO Season: Bring Your Wallet, Your Crypto, and Maybe a Co‑Signer

SpaceX is going public in a few weeks. Estimated valuation: $1.5 trillion. Yes, trillion with a T. Time to refinance the house, shake down the kids’ lemonade stand, and pretend you always wanted exposure to a company whose long-term plan involves sending humans to Mars one-way.

But don’t spend all your imaginary money yet — OpenAI is prepping its own IPO. Another “deal of the century.” So now we get the fun question: Which is bigger — SpaceX or OpenAI?

Given recent courtroom drama, Sam Altman and Elon Musk probably shouldn’t share a space capsule, a conference stage, or even a group chat. But here we are, watching the “my IPO is bigger than your IPO” showdown.

Hantavirus vs. Ebola: The Worst Possible Competition

Two viruses are now competing for the title of “Most Likely to Ruin Your Summer.”

Hantavirus popped up on a cruise ship (because of course it did) and is now appearing in random places where people have touched other people who touched other people who touched… you get the idea.

Ebola, meanwhile, has reemerged in Africa — fast, deadly, and already claiming lives. If you had a Congo safari planned, you might want to pack a hazmat suit next to your swimsuit.

To AI or Not to AI (Apparently a Debate Now)

AI is still the hottest sector in investing, but the public mood is shifting. Speakers are getting booed on college campuses. Town halls are turning into anti‑AI open mic nights. Communities are protesting data centers because they “use too much electricity” and “take jobs.”

Not entirely untrue — but also, come on. Who needs jobs or lights when you can have progress?

The backlash is growing, loud, and occasionally hilarious. But it’s real.

A Short Week, A Long List of Things to Worry About

So here we are:

• War(s)
• Crypto toll booths
• Trillion‑dollar IPOs
• Competing deadly viruses
• AI protests

Perfect topics for a relaxing family vacation. Nothing like explaining Ebola to the kids before they’re allowed in the water.

Try to relax. Hunt for coins on the beach to fund your IPO dreams. And hope the electricity bill back home doesn’t require a second mortgage.

Content provided by Bill Taylor with the assistance of co-pilot