Here we go again: May. The month that begins with Cinco de Mayo on the 5th, ends with a three‑day weekend, and somehow manages to stitch together a plotline that feels like it was assembled from spare parts. And right on cue, we’ve reconfirmed a basic truth of aviation: bananas don’t fly. Spirit Airlines spent thirty years insisting otherwise, painting their planes bright yellow and hoping no one noticed the resemblance. But the last Spirit jet has landed, the peel has been pulled back, and suddenly every politician is pointing fingers with the confidence of people who’ve never successfully operated a toaster. If they’d ever flown Spirit, they’d know exactly where the blame belongs.
Meanwhile, the Strait of Hormuz is still doing its best impression of a geopolitical revolving door that spins, jams, and spins again depending on who’s talking. We’re told there’s a “cease‑fire,” which appears to mean we stop shooting while the other side continues auditioning for the role of “active participant.” Iran says it hit an American warship; the U.S. says it didn’t; and markets have responded with the emotional engagement of someone scrolling past a weather alert. At this point, the whole situation has settled into a kind of global shrug — the international version of “I’ve got enough problems today.”
The OpenAI trial, however, is wide awake. It’s a billionaire dispute disguised as a legal proceeding, complete with testimony that swings between self‑importance and accidental honesty. Elon Musk declared he “was a fool” to invest in the company, which may be the most accurate line spoken in the entire courtroom. The stakes are enormous — potentially the biggest IPO ever, at least until SpaceX decides to enter the room — and the whole thing feels like Silicon Valley arguing over who gets the last chair when the music stops.
And then there was the Met Gala last night, the annual reminder that adults will spend a small fortune to look like conceptual art that didn’t make the final cut. It’s fashion, allegedly, though it doubles nicely as performance satire.
And just to round things out: April’s employment numbers drop Friday. NFP. Non‑Farm Payrolls. The statistic everyone will pretend matters to the Fed, even though the Fed has already moved on to other obsessions.
