Santa Goes Tech: An Exclusive DWN Interview


Digital Wealth News is excited, and honored, to have been granted an exclusive interview with SANTA CLAUS on this busy week! Not many people know that Santa has gone very high tech these past years and with good reasons. He is eager to explain in this interview.

DWN: Santa, it’s hard to believe you’ve gone high tech. We are so accustomed to seeing just you in your sled with tons of packages. What gives?

SANTA: Gotta keep up. A long, long time ago the world was smaller with fewer kids to give presents to. Easy to manage. Population explosion has made it virtually impossible to get a present to every boy and girl by deadline.

DWN: So how does tech help?

SANTA: Well, first I put every kid on the blockchain. I can track who has been naughty or nice and what gift goes where. The best part is that there seems to be a lot more naughty kids out there which means I can reduce the number of gifts I need to distribute. Sure cuts the work load. And those letters to Santa? Can’t fool me anymore saying you were nice, so save your postage stamps.

DWN: What else?

SANTA: Drones. They rock. It used to be I could get down chimneys pretty quick, leave a gift and get out. The worst thing invented is the fake fireplace. You see a fire glow, get on the roof and find out there is no chimney. Time killer. Now I send drones down to peek in  windows (no, not what you think) and see if it’s a real fireplace. Then the drone delivers the gift (only to nice kids). Very efficient.

DWN: AND…….?

SANTA: I’m thinking of getting into digital assets. Again a long, long, long time ago, I was asked for gold as a Christmas gift. You know how heavy that shiny metal is? The reindeer could barely get airborne. And it became expensive. So then I went to plastic toys and soft plushy toys. Much lighter, but bulky. Now if I can tokenize those toys, it’s a game changer. I can just text presents to NICE kids. Huge cost and labor savings. I could even distribute bitcoin (let’s see Gary Gensler stop Christmas!) for gifts.

DWN: So you’re all in on tech and even changing Christmas? Are you sure?

SANTA: Yes, and it’s about time. I’m tired of overworking my small toy workshop and seeing all the big bucks go to the online retailers. I am also competing with UPS, FedX, Prime and even the post office. They’ve never had to go down a chimney over and over, all night long. Tech will allow me to lay off my elves, ground the reindeer and save money. I mean have you seen the cost of reindeer food? Crazy. And, less work. I can afford to take Mrs. Clause to Cancun in the winter.

DWN: Wow. That’s gonna be quite a change. By the way, before we wrap up, why did you choose Digital Wealth News for this interview? I mean you could pick the WSJ, CNBC, Fox or even the Fargo Daily Report.

SANTA: Your audience. You reach over 300K wealth managers, family offices, RIAs, VCs, tech entrepreneurs, FAs and wealthy investors every week. Obviously I may need to raise money to acquire a fleet of drones and expand into AI (we didn’t touch on that much). DWN is perfect if I do, in fact, establish I will need to get my “Ho Ho Ho” message out.

DWN: Well, what a great compliment, Santa! Thanks for the interview and Merry Christmas!